WILL or MUST?

Chem just passed. the last 15 minutes really challenged me both mentally and physically. Thank God I finished till the final letter. I wouldn't cosider my knowledge is just at the tip of ice but the question startled me at half-time. No red-cards were issued but i know my abilities. I would be grateful if it turns out 7. Anything less than 6 seemed quite impossible. It's a HL, so 6 still threaten my applications later. Afterall, its over. The only thing that i can do now is to pray. English and maths is coming up. Will I do well? Even English is launching its spy plane as a sign of threat. I wouldn't deny that my english is merely what I should have. Its a challenge, yet to be tested anytime, anywhere. Maths could just be another nuclear bomb against me. I wouldn't see it as something that i can overlook, coz i just cant. Killer subject? I guess so... Well, thinking back, my problems were gradually eliminated from my short-list. It was some how solved as i did make it into a new life. What's up for next? I would say, just pray for the best. There are ups and downs. Looks like this weekend is not gonna be anything better than the last. I might be goin back in less than 7 days but the extreme burden that i am carrying now do not permit me to think of it at all. It seemed that I won't be goin back anytime sooner but the fact is, I AM! Walk one step, see one step. That's what the proverb says. and that's all i can do. Though the time left is less than a year, i will treasure every moment of it, every second we spend together. Someday we might part, but where the heart is there, what we have inculcated will last forever. Always... The part within me will always be there. I have made my choice and i am firm about it. Nothing can change my perception, my life and my decision. Age might be a problem, but that won't stop me. Back to IB, the 42 is there. Regardless of my ability limitations, i will achive my dreams. It's the confidence that will decide at times. UK is not impossible, and I must make it there. I don't care there are how many options available. What I have is just one, make my parents proud and offer them a sense of relief. I have done enough wrong deeds and i am sure enough even this won't repent. But that's the best I can do and I will do it! Besides all this, i won't forget that special one. I will always get closer. Though IUMC is not within my reach, but I myself will move towards it. that's a promise I give. I MUST make it into the fairland!


even he can do it,why can't I?